Losing It

Since moving to Chicago I've lost about 25 pounds.  I'm not doing anything crazy, just eating smartly and my new job keeps me on my feet moving.  While I'm super excited to lose the weight, I'm not crazy about going shopping for new clothes.  1.  I hate shopping.  Never ask me to go shopping with you.  I'm the get in and get out girl.  I have anxiety about the crowds.  The screaming kids annoy me.  The ever present sales person pisses me off.  I usually leave with nothing,  which pisses me off even more, resulting in me not wanting to return for what I wanted in the first place.  2.  Spending money on myself activates my anxiety.  I feel guilty spending money on myself.  There are so many things I should be spending money on.  There are so many other things that need to be bought.  There are so many other...  You get the drift.  So combine those two things with the fact I really don't know what size I am anymore and you get the amazing trifecta that is me.
That leaves just one problem.  I am actually walking out of most my clothes.  Pants fall down when I walk, a belt gives me a homeless look, my bra can't go any tighter and my shirts no longer have a shape.  This leaves me making myself conquer my anxieties and get my but to a store.
My go to store has been Lane Bryant for several years.  They have great cut clothes, at a great price that last a long time.  Even when I was a size 14 I had hips and LB makes clothes for curves.  And their clothes are super cute.
I walk in ready to go to war.  My goal: get one pair of jeans and a bra.  My spending limit: $150. 
As I walk up to the jean wall my eyes glaze over.  There is nothing like picking a size that is too small to crush your highs of weight lose.  There is nothing worse then picking a size too big, resulting in confusion and more unwanted time spent spending money.  Thankfully an annoying sales person sees my need for help and comes right over.  I quickly explain I have no clue what size I am.  She asks me to lift my jacket and turn around.  After a quick look at my booty she delivers the verdict.  18, curvy.  18?  I instantly think she has no clue what she's doing.  I've not been an 18 in about 10 years.  The last time I bought jeans they were a size 22 or 24.  I don't remember because I cut the tag out.  I laugh at her.  She sees my fear.  I take a 20 and an 18.  I know that I wont fit into the smaller size.  On the walk to the dressing room pissed at the sales lady for getting my hopes up.  I'm actually so mad that I plan on leaving after I try the jeans on.  I close the door behind me and prepare myself to wiggle into a pair if jeans that wont come over one thigh.  I was wrong.  They easily passed my thighs.  The easily went past my hips. They zipped without concern and buttoned without a wiggle.  I jumped for joy.  Seriously.  I did a dance in the dressing room.  That peaky sales lady knew her shit!
I was able to get one pair of jeans, 2 bras (I went down 4 inches in the band), 3 shirts and a pair of ear rings all for $118. 
Today I got a coupon in the mail from LB.  I'm going back this weekend.

We'll try anything

Let me first start by saying my dad reads my blog.  I debated posting this entry because of that.  I laughed out loud when I imagine my dad reading about his daughter having sex.  But oh well, he wants grand babies so this is just something he gets to go through too!  Lol
Daryl and I try to keep a sense of humor about our lack of ability to reproduce.  For a very long time when people would ask when we were going to have kids I would say that we practice every night.  My mom hated that response! 
Fast forward to tonight.  I think about the scene in The L Word when two of the characters use artificial means to get pregnant.  The one character ends up laying with her legs above her head, using gravity to gets the goods to the right spot.  My version ended with me standing on my head, leaning against the bed with Daryl laughing and threatening to take pics!  Lol!  Who knows if it worked but it provided both of us a few laughs! 

We'll try again later

This week brought the stress and sadness once again.  My calendar said one day til my period started.  Like every month, I try to ignore it.  I try to convince myself it's not that big if a deal.  I tell myself that this month will be the one month that I wont start. 
A couple months ago I had a short lived crazy two weeks of being late.
Like clock work, my body does it's thing.  This month just wasn't our month.

Random Thought

If we ever do have children, I promise not to mess their names up.  They will have strong names that may require some growing into, but I won't misspelled, with 18 vowels when all it needed was one.  My nod of the hat to all my friends who have gotten this right.  The newest addition to our group has a name who all little boys should envy.  Good job parents. 

Seriously

Just read a headline that reports Snooki is pregnant.  The world is not fair.